


just look at me the same

by icouldnotsee (herprettysleeper)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Friends With Benefits, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 04:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14204727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herprettysleeper/pseuds/icouldnotsee
Summary: They start killing things together.





	just look at me the same

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hiddeninyourblood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddeninyourblood/gifts).



> I wrote a thing! The title is from [this wonderful song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COOBN-cdJbo) that waywardlullabies sent me, and this fic is also dedicated to her, because she's awesome.
> 
> Without further ado!

They start killing things together.

Mostly meeting up around eight or nine in the evening, after it’s dark. Izzy doesn’t remember exactly how it started, except they were both out late and Clary’d suggested they hang out—”Come on, we’ll go get something to eat at the Jade Wolf.”—and she’d said yes, like you do when your crush asks you to go on an (albeit platonic) dinner date with her.

They walked home and they’d seen something flickering in an ally, checked it out. Demons, and they killed them.

So now, a month or two later, they’re in a club—not Pandemonium, a new one, and they corner the demon in a backroom. Clary wounds it, sends it stumbling towards Izzy, who slices it in half with her whip. It goes out snarling at them, true form revealed, and Clary runs towards her, both of them backing away from it—it looks like it’s going to explode, and then—it just disappears. Nothing else.

They both laugh, and exhale, and they head back to the Institute, and they watch a movie on Clary’s phone, and Izzy leans her head on her shoulder.

When the movie’s over, it’s almost one in the morning, and Clary says, “Well, we should probably go to bed.”

Yeah. They should.

“Hmm,” Izzy tells Clary. Izzy kisses her cheek.

They look at each other for a long moment, and it stretches for almost an eternity.

Almost, because then they’re kissing, and they fall back onto the bed, and she’s warm, and she tastes like the lip gloss Izzy let her borrow. Clary presses Izzy into the mattress, and Izzy—she doesn’t know how she doesn’t stop herself or stop Clary but she doesn’t—Clary touches her—she—

_oh._

~*~

They’re not talking about it, it seems.

Which is fine. It’s—it’s fine.  They kill a demon, together, Izzy’s whip strangling it and keeping it in place as Clary delivered the final blow. It crumpled in on itself, folded into almost nothing then disappeared.

It’s not the first one they’ve killed today, but it’s the one Izzy remembers a few nights later, when her head’s against Clary’s chest. Sometimes she jumps before she strikes, and she did that time, hair flying behind her. Righteous anger, almost beautiful.

She falls asleep listening to Clary’s heartbeat.

~*~

Halloween comes around, passes. It’s a nice night. It’s a productive night, too—Izzy can’t remember how many demons she and Clary sent back to the hell they came from.

When she wakes up, Clary’s dressing up in front of the mirror. Izzy wants to close her eyes and pretend to go back to sleep, just so she doesn’t have to deal with the awkwardness that’ll come with this. Then there’s the other option.

(how do you ask someone who doesn’t want you to stay?)

She leaves. Izzy doesn’t get out of bed for an hour.

~*~

**You okay?**

Izzy got the text half an hour ago. She’s been looking it for a long time, trying to decide how to respond.

 _i’m fine, just not feeling good today,_ she sends. _sorry for worrying you._

**It’s alright, just hadn’t heard from you in a few days. You want me to bring you something to eat?**

_nah, i’m good. thanks, though._

**Let me know if you need anything, okay? Love you <3**

Yeah, she loves her. The way you love a friend. Because beneath all the stubbornness she’s a good person.

 _< 3, _she sends back. It’s good enough.

~*~

Sometimes, she wants to be angry.

She doesn’t think this is anything unusual, but it sucks, anyway, the frustration that comes with liking someone. Like being shot by someone who doesn’t even know they pulled the trigger. It’s not Clary’s fault for existing, but she wants to blame something for how she feels and how it hurts.

But then Clary smiles and all her plans to blame someone else fall apart, and she can’t even be upset.

~*~

They underestimate one threat, go in not prepared. The demon’s still in human form.

“I can see what you want,” it says, then smirks. “Who you want.”

It’s holding onto Izzy’s arm, and it burns, and she has to grit her teeth against the pain. Her chances of making it out of here alive are slimming down; her whip is across the room, and she’s willing it to come back to her, but it’s not working.

And then the demon’s eyes widen, and it changes into its true form—it’s a tannish thing, shaped like a star but fuzzy at the edges, looks frighteningly similar to vomit—and with a screech, it disappears.

Clary’s breathing heavily, holding onto her blade, which drips with demon blood. Then she drops by her and draws an iratze into Izzy’s skin with her stele, but the wound’s not a simple cut. All a healing rune can do is take the edge off.

“I need to go back,” she says. “I think it’s poison, I need to go back to the Institute.”

“Alright, come on,” Clary says, supports her back as they go.

Izzy’s fine after half an hour of treatment, and during the walk she’d said it wasn’t a big deal, that she was fine, but Clary still looks relieved.

~*~

A week later, Clary wakes up before her again. When Izzy wakes up, she’s drawing circles on Izzy’s arm with her fingertip, and all Izzy does is breath her in. She doesn’t move, and she doesn’t end the moment. And then Clary kisses her forehead and gets up.

When Clary leaves, _stay_ is pushing at the back of her throat, and she says it after she’s gone.

~*~

They’re walking home.

“Um,” Clary begins, “I. So we’ve been. Um.”

Izzy gives her a look that’s really a question.

“Do you want to go out to the movies with me? They’re showing Ayna on Sunday, I thought you might like it.” Then, “As a date.”

“You want to go out with me?”

Clary scratches behind her ear, awkwardly. “Yes,” she says.

“Yeah,” Izzy says.

“Yeah?”

“I mean, yeah, I’ll go out with you.” Izzy smiles.

“Oh, well then.” The corner of Clary’s mouth rises. “Well, cool.”

“Cool,” Izzy says. And she can’t stop smiling the rest of the way back.

~*~

The next morning, Izzy doesn’t have to ask Clary to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked! As always, comments sustain me.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
